Went to an appointment today. They said I might have mono & I will be tested next Tuesday.
I overheard my parents talking about me. I couldn’t help but cry. And my brother was talking bad about me. It enraged my father so much that my father almost killed him. I just sat there & watched. In fact, I was so enraged too that as he was being beaten, I was throwing stuff at his head, yelling at my father to kill him. My mother was on the floor weeping. After that whole ordeal, I was consoled by my parents. They apologized for talking about me & said they love me. To me, it sounded like a lie.
There wasn’t a day I didn’t cry this week. This week so far has been terrible. Monday, my parents were mad at me. Not just mad, but infuriated. I don’t like seeing them fight let alone I don’t like being yelled at by either of them while they’re fighting. Also, I was sick as hell on Monday.
Tuesday, my illness got worse. I was sent home after period 2 with a 102.4 degree fever. And John Xa hurt me at the start of period 2 really badly. I was having a bad day already. I was crying after he hit me, for awhile too. He promised to never ever hit me again.
When I got home, I slept till NOW. That’s right, I just woke up. I won’t be able to come to school tomorrow so I’ll be taking my CSTs in May.
I don’t want to have to deal with children, but not because I hate them:
I don’t ever want to fight with my kids. I wouldn’t want to yell at them or anything. I wouldn’t want to hurt them. I wouldn’t want to make them cry. I don’t want to see them sad. I don’t want them to hate me. I don’t want to have to buy them nice stuff & still try to pay the bills & all those taxes. I’d love to buy them nice stuff but I wouldn’t be able to afford it. I don’t to be overprotective of him/her & take away his/her freedom. I don’t want to see my child hanging around the wrong crowd. I don’t want to find out that he/she’s been doing drugs. I don’t want to see them in the hospital after some accident. I don’t want to deal with any of this.
My parents haven’t done anything wrong when they brought me up…I’m just a terrible son ‘cause I always take them for granted.
So, this waiter just waiting (haha) by our table watching the show. When we sat down, my dad notices he was Filipino.
They exchanged a few in Tagalog & when the waiter dude asked for his last name, my dad said “De Luna.”
HE WAS ASTOUNDED. “YOU’RE A DE LUNA?!” he said in Tagalog. And then they started exchanging some happy talk about how that dude’s grandma was given a fortune by my grandma for his family to start a busniess in the Philippines.
He then brought another Filipino waiter & he was all like “These are De Lunas?THE De Lunas?!”
I always feel like just seeing them sad makes me sad. Sometimes they seem so strong to everyone else, but whenever you are alone with them, they break down and you have to comfort them. You want to do anything to make them happy again, but you can’t. You just can’t.
i love you joe :)
I dealt with this yesterday. It is sad. But when the person you try giving advice to starts to hate you because your advice doesn’t work, then it just kinda pisses me off when I still try to help them. Especially if they clearly never follow your advice in the first place.